Taking A Walk Through Your Neighbourhood (Page 3)

The tension that preceded NYSC Camp was immense. They’ll steal your phone. They’ll steal your charger. They’ll steal your fiancée. They’ll steal your keke napep. They’ll steal your breasts. But when I got there (at Yikpata Camp), I met the direct opposite of the troubling picture painted for me. The only incidences of stealing we…

Taking A Walk Through Your Neighbourhood (Page 2)

Facebook bios ‘usually’ succeed in giving me the measurement of people’s education, intelligence, social status and maturity. “If you fuck with me, I’ll fuck with you,” sounds like someone who is either a thug or a gentleman with an empty purse. “He reigns,” sounds like a functional Christian. “Some people we just be hating, meanwhy,…

Taking A Walk Through Your Neighborhood (Page 1)

Would you allow me to take you to a Nigerian home for a minute? Thanks, we’re here now. Let’s sit and watch. Mum says you mustn’t collect biscuit from your classmates in school. Why? Because they ‘will’ use it to initiate you into a witch coven. Be wary of every child, they’re all witches and…

VANESSA

Gentlemanly me lay upside down; Content, dreamless, not being a clown. But then Vanessa came into town And well, trouble became of my crown. Vanny got an apartment downtown, Got two labia dogs from Mrs. Browne. If you pass, you must frown. If you don’t, you must drown. I let grasses grow at my door,…

Soliloquy III

While in school I was king; At my door lasses would sing, But now that only memories ring, Even the homely refuses to cling. I hear not the ticking of clock, Long enough alone in my block, Write and read, evening on a walk, Still unsung, no dame would knock I cannot love two at…

CHILDREN DON’T FORGET

I knew an uncle when I was young; he used to come from Lagos. Everybody who came from Lagos then was like an angel to me, not because Lagos was spectacular or anything (I started Primary School there myself) but because the coming of an uncle from Lagos could have only meant one thing, gifts….

On Death

Sheriff’s face seems more familiar than I know it, but the only time I remember to have ever happened at the same place as he, was in Casso-Lagos at a wedding. He contested for Councillor and won, achieving a lifelong dream, but then few weeks later, ‘Rest in Peace’ decked his Facebook wall. We weren’t…

ARTISTS’ DESPAIR

Art is the voice of Nature; history is her tale; poetry is her song; politics is her language; love is her silence, for love, when spoken by Nature is always very quiet, unless frustrated. Happiness is the prize Nature gives to whomever unquestioningly understands her. Sorrow is the spell Nature casts on anyone who is…

LUCY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

Oh yes! Caesars have offered their daughters, but I was never like those busters. Pharaohs have invited me to dine so that a princess would be mine. They would march in nine to twist and whine, but I’ve suspected, marrying an Egyptian isn’t at all my line. So I went to my mother’s town, but…

WHAT WE’RE LOOKING FOR

For millions, it’s money. For thousands, it’s entertainment. For hundreds, it’s spirituality or science or art. For scores, it’s identity. What our souls yearn for; what fulfilment portends to us, differ, based on geographical, genetic, racial and psychological differences. Many find what they seek; many, never will they find, but death which shall seal their…

Soliloquy II

Day dawned not nice in me pockets And I have feelings for Wura But dame flaunts her anklets Alongside her friend, Aurora. Folks fuel me after the señora So I dress nice to rich banquets My modern Sodom and Gomorrah From which I return in caskets. Friends assure my skills are enough To attract any…

Soliloquy

Town folks, at my door gather. Man called lord, people be happy! Dirty indoor, outside the bather. Join the queue, now be snappy. Bricks face the harsh weathers, Babies coo indifferently over milk; Roof better not lose its feathers, Else the doom of silver silk. Money is time’s friend, Time is money’s mother; Money happens,…