Who Shall I Tell?

You see, while I was president in school, a printer swindled us. Without warning, we travelled to Ibadan to catch him, and luckily, we did. Then, we dragged him to a police station. Months later, when we still hadn’t got results, I found out that the guy was already taking the officers out on weekends…

GOSPEL OF LAZINESS

Let me tell you what rich people think of you; they think you don’t have sense and that’s why you’re poor. They also think poverty inspires desperation, that desperation prompts criminality and your criminal tendencies make you dangerous. So, simply put, they believe poor people are dangerous and should be avoided at all cost. Poor…

That Guy

Let me tell you about a guy; I shall call him Sucrutum, to hide his identity. He was a teacher I worked with. He was a very respectful person, especially indoor. Outdoor, he wasn’t very respectful. He would want to sell himself big, and he would think portraying himself bigger than everybody else would give…

HAPPENS AS IT WILL

“Neither seek nor avoid, take what comes.” -Swami Vivekenanda A sage was once asked by a boy, “How can I be happy in this world?” “Do not beat yourself up over what you cannot change,” the sage told him. When the boy’s mother died, he cried, and then he looked for someone to blame. He…

Passionate Pasts

Nearly everyone has specs when it comes to choices or tastes in man/woman. You think physical punctuations and accentuations matter most, or perhaps you’re sapiosexual, or maybe you rather fantasize about people that have certain skills. Come, let me tell you; when love happens, it doesn’t care what your specs are, it just happens and…

Bringer of Wisdom

“Omo ò jìyà, ó lóun gbón” has outlived its trueness (as a proverb insinuating that wisdom can only be borne by suffering). Wisdom is the end product of a man’s intercourse with information; not with adversity. You need a green paint while you only have blue and yellow. Now someone comes around, takes a cupful…

Moshood Is a Gnome

I wasn’t Caesar but Oyo was my Rome. Though Nepa was an abuser, books lived on my foam. Dreams, oh lofty dreams, sadly against schemes from deadly teams. Bullets on a quiet night, unexpected extremes. Where we turned we were cut, our eyes were beams. I grew up with a permanent smile on my face,…

FIVE FEET APART: A REVIEW

Five Feet Apart is a romantic drama, released in the United States on 15th March, 2019 by CBS Films. It’s about two patients of cystic fibrosis (CF) who fell in love (with each other) at the hospital. CF is a genetic disorder that affects mostly the lungs, with no known cure. Lung transplants could sustain…

One More Day

Where the field is green, the rooster wakes. Where it’s brown, it mocks. So says me but the rooster only crows. That’s it, a word could bear three meanings, depending on the size of the viewer’s pocket. Geckos rejoice beans have beetles; cooks complain beetles are in beans. And that is what cannot merge religions…

HICHKI: A REVIEW

“There are no bad students, only bad teachers” is an aphorism to take home from the cinema, after seeing the Indian movie titled Hichki. The screen blares on showing us the struggle of a woman seeking a teaching job. Eighteen schools but none would employ her; why? Because she has Tourette’s syndrome, a neurological disorder…

Taking A Walk Through Your Neighbourhood (Page 3)

The tension that preceded NYSC Camp was immense. They’ll steal your phone. They’ll steal your charger. They’ll steal your fiancée. They’ll steal your keke napep. They’ll steal your breasts. But when I got there (at Yikpata Camp), I met the direct opposite of the troubling picture painted for me. The only incidences of stealing we…

Taking A Walk Through Your Neighbourhood (Page 2)

Facebook bios ‘usually’ succeed in giving me the measurement of people’s education, intelligence, social status and maturity. “If you fuck with me, I’ll fuck with you,” sounds like someone who is either a thug or a gentleman with an empty purse. “He reigns,” sounds like a functional Christian. “Some people we just be hating, meanwhy,…