CAROLINE, where have you been? (A True Life Story)

Oh yes! Caesars have offered their daughters, but i was never like those busters. Pharaohs have invited me to dine so that a princess would be mine. They would march in nine to twist and whine, but i discovered, marrying an Egyptian isn’t at all my line. I went to my mother’s town, but instead of finding happiness found a clown. I was deceived in the first place by her modest gown, but later discovered her illiteracy at dawn; she would be confused if you ask her, what is a noun? What a clown!

Ondo presented a lady too. In the hands of her parents was adored a magnificent baby too. But she was so weird that she danced to even the ticking of clocks and soundtrack of Mister May-D too. Oh i see, the future with her would be shady too.

The last year in College almost ran out before i dumped the rules and started to fly out. To every female dormitory i started to shout out, not minding if i would be called a flirt or a lout. Maidens thought i was only on mouth, or perhaps I’ve had a bottle of beer or stout, but Angels knew what my struggle was all about, and hence showed me the way out. When i finally met Caroline, i saw she was my happiness route, my brother, no doubt.

The storm is over! I’ve found the sweetest fruit better than apple, orange and guava. Without words, her beauty hums louder than woofer, her wit in comparison to the past experiences is tougher, my CARO is indeed a lover.

Where will you like to go, iyawo mi? Abandon twitter, Skype, WeChat and 2go, follow me; i’d love to take you to Chicago or Miami. Now that my dry land is now watered, my bread is now buttered. I don’t want Obama’s daughter, it’s obvious that my CARO is hotter. If my babe was a memory card, one’d need no more data. If she was a loaf, you’d need no butter. If she’s a pie, you need no water. If she’s Hermione Granger, you’d love to be Ron Wesley instead of being the chosen one, Harry Potter.

But hell, i’m still serving the masses. The personality which a good President passes, does not allow pouring Hennessey into glasses. But yes a time will come, when we will both leave the school dorm and I’ll take you to my mum, in a weather neither cold nor hot but warm, and my sisters will offer you gum as is our norm, and we’ll dance to the beats of Atingisi tom while sharing cups of mead or rum.

Thank God i’m still alive; alone i almost got tired of life, laughing and crying alone almost killed me as a human being. Caroline, come here quickly, where have you been?

Lord eBay.

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Jeyna Grace says:

    I love how this was written 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. semadearie says:

    Oh my! Am thrilled

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice piece.
    It’s always interesting when in Yoruba we refer a person we just me as ‘iyawo mi’ and because the words we use sometimes is reflective in our actions, are we too trusting? or the word itself has lost its meaning given how casually we use it?

    Like

    1. lordebayism says:

      Well, I think the people we call our “iyawos” (unmarried) get the title out of respect. I as a person… I call not anyone my iyawo unless I’m planning to make her one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Got ya! Baale Caro. Lol. I have high expectations for you both when you get to Aso Rock!

        Liked by 1 person

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