The New Guy

Martin Luther King Jr. was born on January 15, 1929 and got married to Coretta Scott on June 18, 1953 when he was 24 years old. Martin Luther King Jr. received doctorate in systematic theology from Boston University on June 5, 1955 when he was 26 years old. As I frowned through the pages of his autobiography, having been set ablaze by what this guy had already known at the age of 26, I was indeed instead of being overwhelmed and flabbergasted, overgasted and flabberwhelmed, because oh Lord of mercy, I’m older than 26 now but still not a proper graduate, not to talk of having Masters or receiving a doctorate. A doctorate for God’s sake! Isn’t PhD what they call doctorate or am I just being over-reactive here?

On 3rd of August, 2015, I decided to leave my hometown for somewhere else where I could face life as a man and not as a son. I passed through some hardships and demeaning embarrassments which I’m not willing to talk about yet at relatives’ places before I later went to a friend’s in Ogun State who said there was a teaching job. The Coca Cola I was welcomed with was a stolen one, I guess that was supposed to have given me an insight into what was to come, but I wasn’t looking with my head, I was looking with my eyes. I started to record days of alcohol spanked with weeds, nights of sexual pursuits and goalless dawdles about the streets. I was already popular as the new guy before I hit the bricks for dear life within the month. What kind of stupid popularity amidst commercial bus conductors and jobless fine-boys whose faces you cannot remember without seeing smokes from their mouths and eyes reddened by the effects of drugs and alcohol. I guess for the first time in my life, I was close to getting ruined physically and spiritually, but thank God, I escaped.

An old friend of mine, Dunni who I nearly wooed but who eventually ended up as my girlfriend’s friend got married yesterday. I know in one of my girlfriend’s several thoughts at the wedding would have been such a thought as when is eBay and I likely to get married too? How tragic do you think it will be if that eBay is somewhere, drinking alcohol and chasing after girls? At this age of mine, I’m still in the world of dreams and the world is not waiting for me, not waiting for the books I claim to have written, just going on, without me. And someone would make me an enemy because I refuse to be the new guy “who needs to try smoking weed out because it’s easy to do.”

I think it’s not totally the fault of the government or lack of resources that pegs us as a nation but mainly lack of vision among the old and the young. I’m hungry for knowledge but I currently cannot afford to buy books. Is that what will make me an ignorant or not having interest in acquiring knowledge at all? For after all, once in a while I’ll afford to buy one or two books and then replenish my soul with them, abi’ro ni? What kind of nation has all her youths interested in cyber theft, sex, football, films, music, material things and stealing phones and laptops alone for God’s sake anyway? Is it that the country is dead or just not born yet?

Oh if I had a choice, I would be in one of the European universities, receiving my doctorate on philosophy right now. But here I am now, hungry for knowledge but unfortunately too hungry for food to have time to feed myself with knowledge, and that food does not come unless I leave home at 6.00am and return at 7.00pm to have no time for any knowledge. The new guy must not be new among unsophisticated lot but among contemporaries who dream beyond their genitals. The new guy among kings, not among junkies! I’ve wasted enough time trying to catch up and still finding myself in 17th century, I need to make a life and live, not just exist and survive, alcohol is not what I need right now, walahi, if anyone of my age set thinks that’s what he needs, he is a fool. Meet the new guy who survived peer pressure, eBay.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. kauaiartist says:

    This sounds a lot like me half a century earlier. So, I get it. I resonate. I feel you, to use blacknacular.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lord eBay says:

      Brent, I think you sound a lot like me half a century later. Lolsss… And if I may ask, how exactly were you long while ago?


  2. Iro ko o, ooto oro ni. Reading has its way of feeding the soul, letting us know we are never alone in whatever state we found ourselves.

    I love your style of writing as this is the true state of things on ground.

    I was once in your shoes. I left home at 18 after secondary school to stay in Lagos, the two years I lived with my sister opened my eye widely. Talking about peer pressure, I had never knew I could be that girl working at a factory and wasting my hard earn money on bleaching cream, for what? So I can ‘fit’ in, the more this happens the more I realised there were many unspeakable things that goes with the ‘status’ of being a city girl whose parents were miles away – like you I escaped and now if I see anyone especially young girls dreaming of the same thing, I shared my thoughts so they wouldn’t have to think they must compromise all of their values in order to fit in.

    On Nigeria, I think we have never been born, at least not properly. Remember what Yoruba says that A ti bi omo, sugbon omo gbodo tun ara re bi? That is Nigeria.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lord eBay says:

      What can I say? You’ve been there. You really got me right.

      Liked by 1 person

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