Gentlemanly me lay upside down;
Content, dreamless, not being a clown.
But then Vanessa came into town
And well, trouble became of my crown.

Vanny got an apartment downtown,
Got two labia dogs from Mrs. Browne.
If you pass, you must frown.
If you don’t, you must drown.

I let grasses grow at my door,
Acted lazy, a drunk and a bore,
But bitch gifts bliss at her shore,
Imagine, a declaration of war.

I retrieved my spear from Lahore
And brought my wrath to the fore,
But in minutes I lost to the whore,
She had drowned my kind before.

Who can wrestle Vannies and win?
Where one ends is where they begin.
You use drugs and choke on gin
Yet they only expand, ask your kin.

Melody, if you beat the skin.
Shame, if your thing is thin.
Mockery, if when you groan they grin.
Repentance, if you consider this a sin.

– Lord eBay (and his random ruminations, 2018)

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