September 29

It’s my birthday today. Let’s pop champagne!!!

The Rat’s Case

​A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. What food might this contain?” The mouse wondered – he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning: There is a mousetrap in the house! There is…

The Gresford Disaster

​You’ve heard of the Gresford disaster, The terrible price that was paid; Two hundred and forty two colliers were lost And three men of a rescue brigade. It occurred in the month of September; At three in the morning that pit Was wracked by a violent explosion In the Dennis where dust lay so thick….

WHEN I WAS A KID

When I was a kid, I was told every spinster is a virgin and she who does not keep to her virginity before marriage will be rejected by the groom’s family and thusly disgrace her family. I’m a grownup now and in fact, all the spinsters in my neighbourhood are all virgins, grooms’ families reject…

​Unhappy Hour

It’s five oh one; I’m in my car And speeding to my fav’rite bar To join the same old sots and schmoes To swap our lies and drown our woes. I start with double whiskey straight. I’m having trouble with my weight. A gin and tonic next I’ve got. My drinking’s chronic, but so what?…

He

He lays me bare, Loosen the clips to me, Yet wants me fair, He’s a fool to me. He has no money, Makes love to me, Pregnancy won’t be funny, He should ask Tumi. Can he loosen the clips Oh God, and still keep me fair? Can he fall for my hips Oh God, and…

Bed Mumbo-Jumbo

She hates to be gone, She was never here. Along her way waiting is John, All godly and shit, devil’s heir. I knew it was not right But it was never wrong. Clothed candy, smile so bright, Every bell in me head being rung. And the first day it seemed foggy; The two talkers hitting…

Are you watching Game of Thrones?

Breaking one of the longer absences in the show, Bran is back. He’s still deep in the North, in the cave underneath the Weirwood tree (though noticeably more pubescent). He’s well into his training with the three-eyed raven. He’s traveled back in time with him to the Winterfell of his father. He’s watching a young…